2 years ago, I set off on a quest to record 12 songs in 12 months. I am proud to say, I got 11 of them accomplished and then I met my match: “Biggest Fan.” It's ironic, because “Biggest Fan” was the song that inspired me to write the album. It was a song I wrote when I heard about Kobe and his daughter Gigi and the helicopter crash that would forever change the LA Landscape. I'll be honest, I am not a huge sports fan, but I lived in Los Angeles and it was impossible to not feel the scope of the Lakers and what the team meant to the city. Furthermore, I used to sell my CD's outside the Grammy's and I remember many a night when I would reach out to the Lakers Fans outside and point to the Staples Center and tell them, “Here's a CD and look forward to inviting you back when I perform at the Staples Center." Dreams. That's where I'll start with this. Kobe Bryant believed in himself and pushed others to follow their dreams. Persistence in the defense. Because for a long time, I moved away from my true-calling of music and hung out in the defense. Sure, I'd make some blocks and a few assists to some friends here and there, but for me, I was not playing offense, I was not moving forward. And THEN the helicopter crashed changed everything. At this time, we were just getting into Covid, there was a quite sense of urgency in the air and unpredictability. For once, in a very long time, all of us as human beings had to STOP and reassess the meaning of life because people were dying around us. This wasn't a movie, NYC was over-burdened with body bags and the older generation or ones with heart conditions/underlying symptoms were passing away. And so when Kobe died, while it was a tragic event in and of itself, his death was overshadowed by all the chaos that we were all living at the time. 

And while I had moved on from LA at this point, when he passed, everything stopped for me. Immediately I was brought back to my days at LA LIVE pitching my CD's, losing myself in the hustle and bustle of the LA Night Life and the Staple of LA - The Staples Center. I think I need to say that again, the STAPLES CENTER. NOT Crypto! How we allowed this to happen is insane, I understand we all need money now and then, but some things should never change. Back to my story, time stopped and when I'm having a moment, I always am thankful I have my guitar near by. On this occasion, I wrote the “biggest fan” chorus in less than 20 minutes. It all came out. “You came into my life/When I placed you on my wall/I lived by all your words/You said play the Long Game/Dream of Something/I was your Biggest Fan.” I was ecstatic. I loved the chorus and more importantly it just felt “right.” I wasn't trying too hard to make this song go a certain way and being a nutcase for melody, I really liked what was coming out. I say this humbly because I just don't think we, as artists, always “know" when and where the song comes from. Yes, there's structure and lyrics, but “Sometimes” you get something else entirely. There isn't any work, it's just there and if you are listening, you might get lucky and capture it. “Might” being the operative word. I do believe on this day, I captured something with “Biggest Fan.” I knew right away, I wanted my buddy Jason Farnham, who is also a huge part of the rest of my album “Inside Out.” But that was it. I didn't have a real plan for the song, I just knew it had to be recorded. Little did I know, I wouldn't write the rest of the song for another 1.5 years. 

Yes, that is correct constant reader. I had nothing after the chorus. At the time, I was like, “Wow, this song just came for me! Awesome!” But nothing else came. Nope, that I had to work for. But what this song did do is bring me back to my roots. It reminded me of myself and everything I had accomplished over the years. I was reaching inside again and pulling out a piece of myself that was, well, as cheesy as it sounds, “my biggest fan.” At the time, I had just started going to therapy and getting to know myself again. Keep in mind, therapy and fighting for your mental health, does not mean you are a nutcase, it's actually the opposite. For me it was the first time in a long time that I sat down with myself and looked at all the holes. Not an easy thing to do, I might add. And let's just say at first I was “not my biggest fan.” But as Covid came on, as we all know, we had a lot of time with ourselves. I figured it was high time I started liking myself again, because really there wasn't anyone else to talk to at the time, just me, myself and I. And through that, I started thinking about recording a song. I knew I had “Biggest Fan” on lockdown (Nope, not at all, keep telling yourself that. SMDH) and then I started a new song called “Inside Out.” Now this song was simple, EM, G, C, and D - But I liked how to-the-point it was. It wasn't trying to be special, it was just a really simple chorus, “I'm inside out.” But that was all I had and then between countertop jobs, and traveling from one side of the state of MT to the other, I penned the final version of “Inside Out.” I actually still have it on a napkin somewhere. It was my first “mental health” song and it felt good. I was speaking about Covid and talking to myself and being comfortable with where I was at. 

Surprisingly, I was actually sticking with my therapy - it is the only time I can just throw up on someone else - I am usually the one who listens to everyone's shit. That IS the job of selling - it's not about speaking, it's about Listening. Any way, on one of these visits I ended up walking to the end of the road and there was this bearded guy smoking a cigarette. He had a guitar on him and I asked, “Playing around here?” He replied, “Just got done with a session.” “Oh really? Where?”  He grinned, “Just down those stairs man.” I Looked down the stairs and I didn't see a studio. “Crazy isn't it?! You can't see it, but if you do down those stairs, the vocal booth is in a bank vault!" Um, this I had to see. So I walked down those stairs and it didn't come up for 2 years. I had been thinking about recording, but once I got inside the studio, I was smitten. This wasn't some bullshit, home recording studio, this was the real deal - full on board with all the bells and whistles and I had one song: Inside Out. It was ready. I Knew I could do it pretty quick, so I got the lay of the land and within a week, I'd payed my $300 to record the song. Now, I know all artists can relate to this. Lol. Once we get the bug, well, um…. it's over. I knew right then and there, I wasn't going to record one song, I was going to record 12 and I was going to do it one year. I had a very lucrative job selling countertops, but what I didn't have is TIME, so I knew if I didn't set a time-stamp on what I needed to accomplish, nothing would have been done. One year. 12 songs. And go!! 

There's a huge story that goes into this and the people I met on this journey who performed on my songs, unbelievable! So much talent. Also, SO MUCH MONEY. AAGGH! Hahah, all my money went into music and it's still going there. But for me it's about the song and making sure it's as good as it can be. I'm obsessed with craft and over the years, for me it's not about writing for the audience, it's about writing songs that mean something to me. Now that could be about mental health or drugs or love or loss or war (yep, all those topics are in my songs) but it has to pull me in some way and I need to want to write about it, otherwise, nothing happens. For instance, the “Song for Ukraine” came about because there was a war in the Ukraine and I was watching families on TV being left stranded. What did that look like? How are they feeling? This is chaos, this shouldn't be happening. And out of that came a song through a small boy's eyes just wanting to understand what war is and his parents pleading with him to “just come inside." My point with all of these words that I've written here is to tell you that I was on my way to making it happen. 12 songs in 12 months! And then once my last song was written, “Give me Tonight" I realized I didn't have the words  yet for “Biggest Fan.” In the mean-time, I figured I would record a cover, but that didn't go very well either. So now, I had 11 songs and if you aren't familiar with a timeline like this and working 80+ hours/week (I worked an average of 12+/day when I was on the road which includes driving time and selling customers - I was burnt out! 11 songs, so close and then WHAM! I couldn't write a damn thing if you put the muse on my shoulder. I was drained completely. 

Thankfully, I had therapy and knew that I just needed to take some time and get away from music. My goal was to release one song per month, but I was so consumed with the craft of recording, that I didn't have time to put on my marketing hat too and make that happen. It was too much. I was drowning. And on top of that, now I couldn't write my last song. I mean the chorus was written in 20 minutes, how could this happen?! In the end, I did what always seems to work for me. I gave myself a deadline and on that day that I was going to record in the studio. Yeah, that day. Lol. Um, procrastination much? I did it. Somehow I wrote that damn song. 2 hours before I was to go in, I figured out what I needed to do. You see, for me, it was being intimidated by a bunch of factors: A) I"m not a huge sports fan, but somehow this song came to me and I needed to write it B)This was a tribute to a God of Basketball who left a Legacy behind, how could I ever live up to or do justice to this song? C)Kobe Bryant liked hip-hop, I wanted to represent the culture of basketball, not Deron Wade Acoustic Americana. I had a vision for this song and I just needed to come. I can tell you constant reader, visions don't just come, unless you're tripping on LSD. Thankfully, I just told myself, “Write the damn thing and worry about changing other things later. Just write it man.” So I closed my eyes and pictured me on the court as a kid, a fan of the bulls and scottie pippen. I was there shooting hoops with my Dad and brother, on the free throw line and we would always  yell out “Jalen Rose for the 3!” And all of a sudden the burden of writing this song became lifted. I knew basketball, I used to play all the time and I was a fan of Kobe and I did hang out at the Staples Center more than prob anyone who went to the games, I mean I lived at LA LIVE. I knew how to write this song. And then I pictured a kid looking at a poster of Kobe, a fan, and aren't we all fans and what does that look like? And out of it came the song “Biggest Fan.” 

Of course later, once I had a third and fourth verse, something didn't sit right. It needed to be bigger. We needed to celebrate Kobe's Life, so I brought in a gospel choir, but found very quickly that “bringing in any gospel choir” is NOT going to always work. Thankfully my guitarist for the songs, Nicki V had a buddy who helped, while we hit a lot of bumps on the road with singers being sick, we got it done! And then, I realized, it still needed MORE. Again, I kept thinking of Kobe, a true Kobe Song does not have an americana folk artist, it's got hip-hop grooves and rap. I had reached out to ask an old music acquintance if he was interested and his response was “NO. I hate Kobe and I haven't done anything for 6 months.” I hit a brick wall. Shit. We were so close, what was I going to do. It just so happened that Mike, my sound-engineer and producer on the album had a friend in LA who had just come out to record some tracks, his name was Eastside K-Boy. During a smoke break, I asked, “You think he'd be down to lay down a vocal track for the song?” Mike said he would reach out and see. And so it was that by a f'n miracle, we ended up getting “Eastside K-Boy” to lay down the vocal for the song. And by this juncture it was way past my deadline of Dec 2022. We were now in May 2023. At which time, John Westfall showed up.

 John, had been recording videos out in Missoula, MT and had become very interested in working with the Vault Recording Studio. At the time, I was also interested, but as an artist, there was talks about possible ownining a piece of the studio, but I knew this would take away my time and focus to get “Biggest Fan” done! You see, biggest fan has become a new title to me: “Biggest Pain in my ass.” From getting the right lyrics, to the gospel choir to Eastside, it was a battle to meet everyone's schedule and make it happen, but I got it done. I will say one thing I do know how to do is Finish. Every album I've recorded was sold. I sold them all. I finish what I start. Which brings me to John. John was recording some videos and I asked if maybe we could do a video and there you have it folks, yet another delay in getting the song out. Lol. So in August, I quit my toxic 12 hour day job, flew down to LA and filmed a video because it needed to be done and it had to be done in LA. 

Now, I'm here. The song is being tweaked and then it's time for you to decide if “Biggest Fan” deserves the love and attention I gave it this year. I believe it does. Not only for Kobe, but for all the phenomenal people who I have worked with on this journey. In fact, I'm not even taking full ownership of the song, I believe in this world we live in today we have to be generous and even though I did technically pay for all the work these artists did, sometimes you get lucky and have talent that goes above and beyond what you hoped for. Eastside K-Boy and Jason Farnham produced that on this song. This song wouldn't be the same without the piano and Eastside laid down a vocal that speaks to the heart of Los Angeles/Culture. So, please help us all get this song out there. I hope I did it justice, I hope “biggest fan” finds its wings and finds its own “biggest fans.” But either way, I'm damn proud of the work accomplished on this song and now constant reader, I leave it in your capable hands. Here's to you, my biggest fan :)